I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
