Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
