matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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