Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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