I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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