He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
