Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize