sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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