will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
