she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
