Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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