Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
