So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
