Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
