Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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