I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
