when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
