take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
