you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
