Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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