Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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