apparently the secret to your success is patron
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
