I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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