Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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