I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
