I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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