this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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