My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Randomize
