i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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