Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
