The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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