No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
