My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
