the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
