normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Found the puke drawer
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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