Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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