He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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