So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
