Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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