But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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