wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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