You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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