i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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