Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
