She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
