Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
