Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize