ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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