My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
