her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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