when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
