Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
wow bdsm is so cute
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
