After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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