He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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