everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
