if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize