found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
