if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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