i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
