who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
