Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
